The Cupboard
by Kireshai
Summary: Harry is being introduced to his new home. Confusion ensues. Warning: Bad punning.


The Cupboard

Warnings: a bad pun, and sexual suggestions at the end.

Rating: K+, most probably.

Disclaimer: Not mine, 'cept the pun, which is mine.

A/N: A not-so-short drabble on an idea that popped into my mind one day.

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"And this is the lounge room." Harry's mouth gaped open as he stared at the room before him. The "Lounge Room" was at least twenty metres squared, with high ceilings done in arching designs, and seemed to be entirely white. The floors were marble, the walls, covered in white tiling. Furniture was sparse with a pair of lounges at one end of the room, separated by a glass coffee table the shape of what appeared to be a jelly bean, and a device that looked a great deal like a billiards table, except all the balls seemed to be floating half a metre into the air above it. In Harry's experience, lounge rooms had been relatively small, warmly coloured and filled with couches centred around a TV, nothing at all like this palace. Considering the size of this room, Harry felt anxious about the size of the larger rooms of a house, such as the dining room. 

Harry was snapped out of his incredulous reverie by the sound of his husband's voice. "Harry, come along, we've still got heaps of rooms to go through," Draco reprimanded, "and you know we haven't got all morning."

Harry turned to Draco and nodded, unable to speak in his amazement. Silently he followed Draco as they walked along a surprisingly empty corridor, containing only one door, which Draco glided directly past.

"Hey Drakey." Draco turned to face Harry, irritated by the use of the nickname that he detested. "What's in there?"

Draco glared at him rebukingly, still annoyed about the nickname, before replying brusquely, "that's just the stationary cupboard." After speaking, he spun on the spot and began again to glide along the corridor.

"A stationery cupboard?" Harry frowned in confusion. He ran to catch up with Draco. "Draco, why do you have a stationery cupboard?"

Draco stopped walking suddenly, causing Harry to fall over in his haste to stay alongside him. Draco glared down at Harry and muttered resentfully, "well, sorry if you don't like it. It's not supposed to be stationary. A couple of years ago one of our house elves jinxed it and we haven't been able to move it since. Such a disgrace, having a stationary cupboard." The last sentence was spoken more to himself than to Harry.

This speech, instead of enlightening Harry to what Draco was talking about, only managed to confuse Harry more. A blank look was plastered on Harry's face as he whispered, "house elf...? Jinx...? Move...? What?"

Draco glared at him reproachfully. "You don't need to make a joke of it! It's not my fault!" He turned away from Harry again to glare at the ground near his feet.

Harry shook his head in an attempt to clear it of some of the confusion. "Draco, I honestly have no idea what you're talking about." He stood carefully, and strode to stand behind Draco, arms holding his shoulders in a comforting manner. "I just didn't think that people needed stationery cupboards at home. I thought that you were likely to have them at schools, or offices."

Draco turned slowly to face him. "Why would you need one at a school, or an office?"

This confused Harry to no end. Of course you needed them at schools. "You know, Draco, for quills and ink and parchment and stuff like that."

"Huh?" Draco took a step back from him. "Why would we have a cupboard for that stuff in our house?"

At Draco's words, it clicked in Harry's mind. "Draco, do you mean that the cupboard doesn't move?"

"Of course." Draco looked extremely perplexed. "What else?"

Harry burst into laughter. After a few seconds, his chuckles subsided and he started his explanation. "At muggle schools they have this cupboard called the Stationery Cupboard, in which they store all their equipment like writing and drawing materials."

Draco kept his look of confusion for a second before breaking into a small smile. "Oh, right." Draco chuckled, embarrassed.

Harry grinned, a sudden idea coming to him. "Hey, actually, I have an idea. You see, muggles also have this interesting use for stationery cupboards, that I think would be good employment for our stationary cupboard." As he spoke, Harry slipped his arm around Draco's waist, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Draco caught on immediately, and leaned into Harry, kissing him softly. "Very good employment indeed."

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Ta da!! My lame lame lame pun based on the word stationE/Ary!! Ha ha!! Well, even though it is terrible, you are more than welcome to review, or dare I say it, flame... Which is probably more likely. Ta ta! 


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